The Day I Waxed A Neanderthal

I will never forget this for as long as I live. I was an esthetician still and I was working in Ridgefield, Ct. I had to wax a woman who was supposedly getting married. I say supposedly because at the end of this story you will wonder what her deal is.

I noticed right away that she was very masculine and she had a very square jaw manly European type face thing going on for her. She was beyond oily skinned (we estheticians notice these things) she was greasy.

She had to get undressed obviously as this was a bikini wax. Now before I come back into the room I provide my clients with a towel to cover themselves up because sometimes as I open the door other service providers are walking by. This was not a Brazilian wax so she was able to leave her panties on.

When I removed the towel and got ready to wax her I noticed that on the front of her panties she had a little sachet of some sort hanging from a safety pin. I am thinking is this some pre-wedding ceremonial thing? A air freshener? What? Please write me if you can figure this out because I will take it to the grave otherwise. I seriously even to this day will be walking down the street and just pause and think..whaaat was that???

Her undies were also.. Ahem not sanitary shall we say. I did not realize that women could actually wear the same ones for a week. I'll leave the rest to your imagination. Thank god for latex gloves.

Ok so I know you are waiting to hear what actually happened during the wax and why I think she is a Neanderthal visiting from some B.C year sooo...

As I waxed her for the first time I could not remove the hair and by no fault of my own (I solemnly swear.. I am a pro speedwaxer). She had hair that was so thick that I could see the cuticle of the hair with my naked eye. This is not normal. Her hair looked like bad hair implants that bald men sometimes get. It was plug like. I tried to wax the same area 3 or 4 times in a row using different waxes and it did not budge. This is almost never recommended but this woman had oddly thick skin that I had never seen before as well. Her skin did not even get irritated.

I stared at her crotch like it was Narnia.

I never removed a single hair and am still convinced to this day that she is a cave woman..