A 20,000 Dollar Facelift For FREE? This Really Works!

Leave it up to Jack Lalanne to make us all young again. It amazes me that this man has better muscle structure, (in his face) at 90 something, than most ladies in their 40's.

Don't laugh too hard at the retro videos this stuff is awesome and now I am pooped!!

Zero Percent Crap

I don't really understand the mathematics of it, but I will say, I'm wildly impressed by 100 Percent Pure.

Talk about innovative, the owner (Susie Wang) has created this skincare almost entirely from fruits and veggies. She has a patent on the development on the pigments which are also plant derived (she won't be having any competition any time soon).

Now you might be wondering what all the hoopla is about, but in THIS industry, these standards just doesn't exist. Just have a look at the ingredients on the site.

If your a purist think about this;

A lip gloss thats 83% vitamin E oil and contains pigment ONLY from fruits and veggies?

Body washes that smells like fresh lime/lemon/nectarine and with no thickeners?

Fragrant body creams with no artificial fragrance? Pardon moi??

*BTW there are almost 18 different fruits/scents to choose from and the the whole line-up is cruelty-free, biodegradable, organic, vegan and vegetarian. Who can top that?

We strongly disagree, if you think you have met their match..let us know in the comments section.

Until then SHOP 100 PERCENT PURE

Future Skin Concepts

You just gotta love products like this.

Just when I think everything has been done, already invented I deeply gaze into the eyes of the latest “it” product. At first I’ll admit I could not understand the uniquity (is that a word?...I like it) of this product. The name just doesn’t depict what it does. However its explanation was enough to keeping searching for more.

Now many of you must know I am the goddess of multi-tasking. My love affair with the beauty/spa industry has always been one of push-pull. I love it all but just don’t want to spend the time doing it. So how could I resist the Hawaiian company Malie telling me I could apply my moisturizer while in the shower?

I really must pinch myself.

So What's The 411?

Apparently they have created a body moisture bar called Mango Buttercup to use on hot skin only in the shower. You use this when your skin is warm or run it under hot water to melt is just a bit.

Get your skin hot and then shut the water off because like a stick of butter it melts. You can massage it into your skin while in the shower then just step out and air-dry.

Its great for this summers travel because it won't spill, and isn't liquid.. so its airline safe. The Hawaiians also say it’s the ultimate remedy for sunburns as well.

I think they would know a thing or two about that...

The Most Powerful Force In Skincare Is Here...

I wanted to let you all know that the site has finally been launched so check it out!

Go Shopping.

Ayurveda. Real Or BS? You Be The Judge.

I once worked in a spa where I had to perform Ayurvedic body treatments. Before I did the service I had to determine what Dosha someone was to know what Indian herbs/essential oils and killer tea would be used to balance the body. Literally.

You might be asking what is a Dosha?
According to Ayurveda, each of us has a unique mix of three mind/body principles which creates our specific mental and physical characteristics. These three principles are called 'Doshas'. Most of us have one or two Doshas which are most lively in our nature, with the remaining one(s) less significant.


What are the 3 Doshas?
The three doshas are known as: Vata, Pitta and Kapha.

My client had to take a test and answer questions about their personality/physical traits and also their bowel movements. Instead of filling out paperwork (like a normal spa) we were required to ask them them very intimate questions in person.

Whats the scoop on your poop? A friend of mine used to say

On this day this client was a guy.

After he took the test we did the treatment. After the treatment I gave him his special Ayurvedic tea. After the special Ayurvedic tea his throat closed up and he had to go to the hospital.

Trying to explain to his doctor what was in this stuff was priceless......

Why I Could Never Have A Foot Fetish.

I'll never suck a toe. Never!

I decided to attend a Reflexology course that would take a week to get certified in "Spa Reflexology". What a pack of lies this class was. I deeply regret the whole experience.

I thought the theory part of the class was interesting and I love the concept behind all Eastern Medicine so that was not a problem for me. What was a problem for me was the realization that I could not wear latex gloves during the technical part of the class. I had to touch and work on some strangers feet for 2 days straight giving her a total of 8 Reflexology treatments. Its not unusual to be disgusted by feet so why not let people know ahead of time the criteria for passing the class? Why let us suffer?

I was not allowed to use essential oils on the her feet (I asked). It was supposed to be against protocol. I just think the instructor was conspiring to torture me. Maybe she was jealous of my being such a good stinky foot massager.

As an esthetician essential oils had always been my crutch, my saving grace, from the worlds dirtiness. For example if someone had bad breath or body odor I could just put some tangerine oil in my steamer and be transported to citrus groves.

Its not just about the fact that I had to touch her feet, its that they made us smell the feet. In Reflexology they say that feet that smell like cheese indicate that the person is toxic and feet that smell like Ammonia indicate and acidic system. Supposedly this diagnosis would determine the treatment schematic.

Yada, yada.

Either way, not fun.

As I work on her feet they begin to sweat (each and every time) and stink, and you know I could not say anything.

For this reason I hated that class, and to this day, I really hate feet.

To The Spa Conspirators: Don't Bite The Hand That Feeds You

I will never forget my first real job as an esthetician. I had worked at a bunch of "eh" places before finally landing a job in my first "big spa". This spa was the "creme de la creme" in Stamford, CT. It was 3 floors and probably 30,000 square feet. They had over 200 service providers including facialists, hair stylists and nail techs.

Now what makes me laugh is the fact that when they hired me they told me that I did not have enough experience. Duh! They said they were hiring me because they liked me so much. But of course!

Anyway I worked for $12 an hour plus tips (this was 10 years ago) because that's what they paid until the 3rd month. If you made it to the 3rd month past their "so called training program" you got 40% commission off everything and of course, tips.

Now one of the things us estheticians have a problem with (when we are new) is running on time. It very difficult to he meet the demands of the client in the allotted time slot allocated by the spa. Frequently the client is told they are getting a one hour facial. But little do they know this includes the time the esthetician has to clean the the room, and set up for the next client.

Now I probably ran late to a few clients and I can remember one in particular being really pissed about it. I also think I was set-up. There are a select amount of people that come to the spa just to report back how the service was. Sometimes they are other estheticians that work at other spas or former employee's. At the time I did not know about these "secret spa informants".
Why was I set-up? Because estheticians are vile. Trust me I am one. If we are not fully booked with a waiting list to get in to see us don't hire others. That's just our bottom line. Somebody must have been whining about the new hire...me (who by the way was the top sales person for 2 months in a row).

Superstar!

So I get called into the office telling me that they are hearing that I am inexperienced. They tell that there have been client complaints. I know this hasn't happened.

They then tell me that if I want to stay I have to pay another esthetician to train me. I am to pay her $50 an hour for this training. I do. After that they have me give another facial to their manager who tells me that the creme I put on her feet is burning. Is this my fault? They provide this stuff!

Oh and by the way, having to touch her feet during a facial is asinine. This spa owner wanted us to give our clients a hand and foot massage during this ritual. This is the stupidest thing I have every heard. Remember the time I actually have to do this.

So to make a long story come to an end I am dismissed. I am an told to go out and get some post grad education and then come back to the spa when I am more experienced. No thanks. I hate feet.

The guy that fires me is a construction worker who inherited this 10 million dollar spa from his poor deceased wife. After they tell me I'm fired this Tony Soprano wannabe says, and I quote, "you just didn't make the cut kid".

Last month I heard they had 27 hair stylists walk out within a week. They took all their clients with them and went to work in a place 1 block away. That's just priceless.

The moral of the story? If you swim with sharks you'll likely get bit.

I'm Simply Too Cool For School

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-Mark Twain

The beginning started out going to school to get my license 9 years ago. This means completing a 600 hour course and taking a state exam and passing it. In truth the schools that estheticians must attend are tragic (read my "Sperm Is Firm" post). Most of them don't even have the proper supplies. They are teaching out dated procedures with poor quality products just so the aspiring technician has something to work with. We are just going through the motions at first. No wonder nobody has any respect for us!

I remember taking my state board test in California and I had to perform a facial using tissues to remove everything! When I was asked to demonstrate waxing for the proctor they handed me honey and a Popsicle stick! Apparently they wanted me to pretend to wax. They actually graded me on this.

I quickly realized that I had learned nothing in school and decided to work with/for companies that would provide me with the real education.

After all its always survival of the fittest..

Rim Job

Well you learn something new everyday.
One of my clients has come in asking me for Anal Bleaching.

Alrighty then. I decided not to ask why.

I did not know this existed. After much Googling I have to say there really is no procedure or protocol to do this. I sold her a bottle of my most powerful skin lightener and told her to go it alone.

Maybe she just needs a good shrink.

3 Fat Ladies And Not Enough Seaweed.

There comes a point in every estheticians life where the inevitable happens and we see naked people. This pretty much a given when we start doing body treatments or hydrotherapy.

Picture this. I once had three very heavy (350 plus pounds) women come into the spa for seaweed treatments. They wanted to detox. So me and 2 other estheticians attempted to give these seaweed treatments to these womem. If you can imagine no towel or robe in the place would cover them and they did not fit on any of the treatment tables. I will never forget how my hands felt applying the seaweed all over them and in their rolls.

We actually ran out of seaweed....poor girls.

Sperm Is Firm!

At the start of my career I went to the most aweful rundown Esthetics school accidentally. It was also a Cosmetology school as well. I should have known better. You see I quickly chose the school closest to me not knowing that there is a difference in quality. So I end up with a teacher who is really nice and... also really unintelligent. She actually told a woman in my class (who at the time was in her 70's) that sperm was firming because of the protein in it or something.

This poor old woman went home and tried putting it on her face. Her boyfriend at the time was only to happy to donate I am sure. She came in the next day and told me it worked.


I told the school I wanted my money back and transferred into NYC.

Somebody needs to shut this place down....

How To Be An Esthetician

I will never forget moving to San Francisco and having to retake my state board exam to be an esthetician in the state of California. It had been years since I had taken one in NYC and I waited 5 months for an exam date.

I had forgotten a lot of the really pointless rules that a lot of these states have. For example: I needed to wear closed toe shoes in a certain color and I showed up without those shoes. Of course I forgot these. I had not worn a lab coat in so long that I almost did not bring mine.

I had driven almost 2 hours outside San Francisco and my model had shoes that were in the right size and style for the test...so what do you think we did?

The unfortunate thing about switching shoes is that we had different sized feet. I had to wear a size 7 when I was an 81/2. I remember thinking that I wanted to walk out from the test. The pain was so bad that I was on the brink of leaving the entire time. The test took about 6 hours.

I was very surprised that I had to remove everything that I was applying to the face with tissues. How absurd. Estheticians I know you know this is ridiculous but for anyone who is not one just try it. Apply your face scrub or cleanser and then try to remove it with tissues.

The other funny thing was that state apparently is not interested to know whether or not we estheticians can actually wax. The want us to simulate waxing with honey. This is like the Easy Bake Oven version of waxing. How childish. They just take our money for school and for the test and barely gauge how worthy we are.

They really need to get it together..