3 times a week I go to Whole Foods to spend my "whole paycheck" buying my "Grass Fed" dinner. Every time I am in the meat market I pick up a chicken, or something else that's harmless while alive but possibly contaminated with Salmonella upon death. If not that then surely some other deadly virus not yet discovered, but will be.. then named in my honor.
The outside of the package is mysteriously wet and disease infested, I know it is. So I stare death right in the pupils and smack it with my pimp hand. In other words... It. Is. On....
Lucky for me I just happen to own ModVellum and sell Herban Essentials Towelettes. I always put the wrapped carcass in a plastic produce baggie and wipe my hands with a lemon towelette pronto. I started this after I went to Whole Food's and discovered that the handle of my shopping cart was actually comprised of various persons old chewing gum. It must be that "next generation" recycling.
What will they think of next?
*BTW when you buy a pack of Herban Essentials in any single scent for the month of August we will give you samples of the other two scents.
What is it? Our Herban Essentials blurb from the site;
We think they are the shiznit. They go guns blazing on germs. The wipes can be used to eradicate that not-so-fresh feeling on hands, feet, and faces. They're a must for us urban people with OCD, hence the name Herban Essentials.
Don’t confuse them with baby wipes or booty wipes but a whole new level of hygiene entirely. What we love is the fact that these are made entirely of essential wild-grown oils from American farmers whenever possible. Herban Essentials uses the highest quality 100% pure essential oils, therapeutic grade, steam distilled, or cold pressed essential oils. It shows. Their products are never tested on animals, only herban disorders.
Its a dirty world out there so...giddy up.
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